I was in the Salvation Army last week with one of the refugee's when some Random Black Dude (RBD) came up to me. What follows is our asinine conversation:
RBD: Excuse me. Are you part Asian?
Me: Yes
RBD: Can I ask you a personal question? If it's too personal you don't have to answer.
Me: Uh. Sure.
RBD: Are you parents still married?
Me: No.
RBD: I ask because I only date Asian women and every one of them always says that we can't be together because we'll never really understand each other.
Me: Yeah, I can see that.
RBD: Is that why your parents got divorced?
Me: Not totally but I'm sure the cultural differences didn't help.
RBD: I don't understand that. People are just people. If you want to be with someone and they want to be with you then culture don't matter.
Me: (eeeeeeekkkkkk)
RBD: Don't you think?
Me: Well culture really does matter. It certainly helps you understand the other person.
RBD: Can't you just read about someone's culture and understand it?
Me: (OHGODOHGODOHGOD)
At this point he almost knocks over the woman I'm with because I'm trying to move away from him and she's trying to follow me.
Me: Well it was nice talking to you but we really need to get going.
RBD: Ok, well thanks.
So I have no idea what the hell that was about. First of all, coming up to a total stranger and having your first question be a question about their race? Strike one. Telling me that you exclusively date women of only one race, especially Asian women (which screams 'fetish' to me)? Strike two. Understanding someone's culture doesn't matter as long as you love each other? Strike three. And give me a fucking break.
Now he didn't specify as to whether he dates only Asian women or Asian American women but I'm not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one - I'm assuming he meant Asian women. What kills me is that he's totally sincere in his belief that he can READ about someone's culture and then understand that person. Now I lived with my mother for close to 18 years and there are things about her that didn't really and probably never would have made sense to me unless I spent that year in Korea. Forget culture, what about context? Or social location? I suppose none of that matters either as long as you LOVE EACH OTHER? Really, I just wish I could carry around a pellet gun and shoot people who do/say stupid shit like this within earshot of me.
I swear I've had more people come up to me in the last two months and ask me if I'm Filipino. Not that I'd have a problem with being Filipino but really, does it matter if I'm Filipino? And do I care if you have a friend who's Filipino? The answer is 'No'. But if this keeps up, the next t-shirt I buy will have 'pinay' written on it. And if you want to buy me one, I like blue.